I Dream of Detroit

I dream of words unwritten;
      In a language where periods need not be dotted
      Where “t’s” need not be crossed-
I dream of dialects unspoken;
      In a voice enunciation need not to be stressed,
      Where infliction is definitions-
Sight through subconscious is unfathomed to the minds eye
Leaving dreams to be safe from
For what can one feel in the absence of a body?
The lack there of? Or the presence of obscurity?
I dream of music unplayed;
      In a sound only heard through script,
Where distance articulates quality-
I dream of things unseen and not to have happened;
      Retention is a curse, and the forgotten is blessed-
But as I rise from once was;
      I’ve lost it all-
I dream of words unsaid;
      Cursed by memory.
      Decided through ignorance.

Excuse Me House Nigga

It is important to realize and comprehend that slavery is over. I, in no way, approve of the tactics nor execution of slavery but as in those times, there are two basic types of blacks; house niggas and field niggas. Since slavery, in the physical sense, has ceased to exist in America, it is also very vital to know the definition of a house nigga or a field nigga is not solely defined or characterized upon skin tone, but rather, more importantly, ways of thinking.

According to W.E.B. Dubois, each and every black person has a dual conscience; black and American. In the American conscience, blacks have concerns, considerations, and pride for being an American. In the black conscience, blacks have concerns, considerations, and pride for being black/ descendent from enslaved Africans. Basically, your conscience mind fights over which conscience to follow; culture vs. the establishment. For the sake of the length of this argument, the establishment will be considered your American conscience and your black conscience will be black culture.

A house nigga, in these times, is an individual of the black Diaspora who values the establishment over black culture. For example, a house nigga carries an umbrella on a sunny day to prevent themselves from getting darker because American society says the lighter you are, the more socially acceptable you will be. A house nigga is so caught up in chasing equality that they overlook their own people’s potential supremacy. A house nigga determines beauty from the standards of American society instead of finding beauty in their own culture. A house nigga is offended by the word nigga because they truly believe and live by the standards and definitions of American society. A house nigga has forgotten the 4 girls in Birmingham, a house nigga neglected the events in Jena, a house nigga doesn’t care about Derrion Alberts.

I write this not to change you of your ways. I write this to offend you. If you are offended consider yourself a house nigga. Instead of anger, find the closest field nigga and ask them what you must do to be saved.

As a field nigga, I inherently love all blacks and could care less about the establishment, but the fact that I walk the halls, sit in classes, live, and eat next to stubborn house niggas is going to kill me faster than the U.S. governments many attempts. Ladies and Gentlemen, I go to school with house niggas. If you don’t believe me, check out the bleaching crème in the bookstore.

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Expect More to Be More

Sacrifice

How much are you willing to sacrifice for your convictions? Friendship?....Money?... Love?,,,, Social acceptance?....Life?.... When entering into new spectrums and facets of life, one must ask themselves the aforementioned question. If not, one will never truly experience what the new facet and spectrum of life has to offer completely. If you truly believe in something and hold that something to be right, than in theory, nothing should differ you from practicing in what you believe in. The question that now arises is “how much are you willing to sacrifice for that belief?” In you asking yourself that question, two major actions should arise in the intellect of your mind. Your first response would be to automatically answer the question, but the deeper meaning of the question is for you to question your convictions. “No struggle. No Identity.” This statement that I live by is not exclusive to physical struggle, but inclusive to the emotional and intellectual tug-o-war that occurs in your mind about your convictions.

For example, in order to become more independent from societies silly standards, I refuse to wear matching socks purposely. Oddly but expectantly, I gained a lot of criticism for my choice to not wear matching socks. My emotions told me I did not have to endure such scrutiny over socks, but my intellect told me bear the pain and follow my own ethics. (I am not stating that your emotions are always wrong, but in this situation, they are.) In law, most cases are decided through analogous precedent; meaning that there was a case similar to the one being decided and that the decision in that case can be implemented in future cases. In reference to my socks, which may sound silly to you, if I gave up on this small conviction, this small ethic code, what else will I give up for the acceptance of society. According to law, if I quit socks for social acceptance than I quit religion for social acceptance; I quit racial passions for social acceptance; I quit being who I am for social acceptance. Hence, I am willing to sacrifice social acceptance for this conviction because I am willing to sacrifice social acceptance, at the least, for all of my said convictions and beliefs.

Though this is a small faction of my life, it is a microcosm of my personal beliefs. When upon reflection of your own beliefs, know that the strength of your convictions are based upon what you are willing to sacrifice.

MIA

I am from which I was created. Do not judge me on my exterior for it is made with flaws. Instead, judge the actions I accent with the words I write. But the words I write do not reflect the action I do. Just as any other human being, I make mistakes everyday. As I said before, what good is a man who contradicts his own efforts.

At that point, I was talking on the vitality of effective leadership. A more personal issue ha arisen. I fear I have lost my best friend because she is exactly what I am becoming; heartless. It is obvious that my emotions are gradually slipping out of my grasp. My walk is more stiff. My speech is lees motivating. My writings are less powerful.

I stated in an earlier blog that I am trying to get back to the man I used to be, but as a wise woman told me, "Make sure that man you are attempting to be is worth getting back to." But he is not worth it. Honestly, I have caused too many tears and see many more awaiting me as I travel down this path. The question is "Do I cause tears for others or carry on to my own emotional demise?"

I am from which I was created. My father's father's father was known as a man of great motivation. As they say in my father's hometown, these motivational tactics have only grown through the generations of Browns. As you know, I am BeMoBrown meaning exactly what it says. I follow a lineage of greatness and I am in constant strive for the highest. But in this 20th year of my life, I fear that I am becoming exactly what I demise the most. Heartless.

Coherence

I miss how your rhymes intertwined with my thoughts.
Feeling like a grown man with his hand in the cookie jar and finally got caught,
My heart beats fast from fear,
Knowing not the extent of your consequence;
I struggle with appreciative mistakes or humble repents.
I feel the swell of my intelligence,
A tingle from my inner sense feels the familiar texture again.
Poetry has called my name.
Ignorant to your purpose, I grow proud;
Knowing the journey to this conclusion will bring me joy.
From which I am powered is to which I question.
Seeking answers for only the dumb can speak.
And it is the right of the blind to see the dreams that dreams dream of,
For the deaf to hear the music my internal rhythm dances to.
Your are the equation, the solution, and anomaly,
My greatest Enigma

Defying Gravity/20 years

A wise man once told me that when we’re young we think we’re immortal but it is when we get old, we realize or mortality and become afraid. Well here it is, the day I celebrate 20 years of defying the laws of gravity and I am far from afraid. I am anxious. I have never feared death because my religious socialization has taught me that this physical body is only the beginning of something great. I am anxious because I am ready to answer my calling. My religion teaches me that God has given each of us a purpose, a calling, a dream to chase, and a dream to actualize. I do not know every religion, and I’m not here to sell you mine, but to a certain extent, everyone believes that they are on this earth for a certain reason.

As I sat in church today, I watched the preachers preach, I saw the shouters shout, I ignored the nay-sayers nay-say, and I dwelled upon my purpose. I am Moses. In my religion, God is a God of the disenchanted, the disenfranchised, the minority, and the unspoken for. In Exodus, these people are the Hebrews. In my home of America, these people consist of black people. Moses was not born of the Hebrew slaves for God wanted him to see the freedom the Hebrews, Moses’ people, could enjoy. I was not born onto the slaves for the same reason. Moses had faith that God’s word would lead him to free his people. I hope that God’s word will shine through these words to free my people. Moses realized his purpose, answered his calling, chased his dream, and actualized that dream. In case you didn’t know, this is the realization of my purpose, my preverbal phone rings and this is the answer to my calling, I ignore gravity so that I am in constant pursuit of my dreams. Moses freed his people through the word of God. The Apostles and Prophets that followed him lead his people to God. I will free my people, not from physical slavery in which we have abolished, but from the bars of this jail that are made by the slave inferiority complex complicated by the prison-industrial complex that disproportionally effects my people, the disenchanted, the disenfranchised, the minority, and the unspoken for and inspire those who follow me to lead my people to greatness.

This anxiousness comes to now avail because as in death, with age comes the exponential growth of passion. And as long as there is an atom of oxygen running through my pumping heart, I will not stop, I will not turn my back, I will not fear old Pharaoh, I will denounce the injustices of the enchanted, the franchised, the majority, and the self spoken for. With God on my side, WHOM shall I fear? So, I encourage you to realize your purpose, answer your calling, chase your dreams, and actualize those dreams regardless of differing religion, race, cultural background, social façade, age, socialization status, political party, or opinion. With 20 years behind me, who will join this defiance of gravity?