I claim To be A Man

I regret nothing. My mother's teachings taught me to learn from all things that happen in life. The lessons learned in every fathom of life are priceless and beyond measure. If the lesson learned is a result of a negative situation, I create better from it. On the other hand, if the lesson is learned from a positive situation, I dare not celebrate in excess. Therefore, I have no regrets. Somewhere between chasing my dreams and writing my history, I bumped into my reflection. While the physical had changed for the better, the mentality that rests behind my eyes has changed as well. While I would like to tell you that I have figured myself out and have come one step closer to enlightenment and fulfilling my self prophecy, I would only be lying to you and to myself. The temporary satisfaction of this lie would easily ease the pain of discontent that I feel. I do not want that. I have lied to myself long enough. I do regret it and sadly, I have become everything in man that I despise. I lie. I deceive. I mislead. I manipulate. To say I am not myself is a childish, idiotic, and pointless statement. Instead, I must get back to the man I used to be. While I can't see you directly through this screen, the next time you see my eyes, you will see my regret in hurting you. Even as I look at my own reflection, I will not see the same eyes that I have seen for the last months. With that said, I must go away for a while and seek out the inspiration that helped me become who I was.

"I woke up in the morning
I took a trip to the corner store
That's when I heard my calling
But I'd never heard the voice of truth before
So I kept on walking
Pretending I didn't see
Walked by a window and my reflection said to me
You could try all the same
But you'll never know this mystery
There's no pilot on your plane
So you're not the man you used to be
Try all the game, but you'll never know this mystery
When your pilot has no plane
Said you're the man you used to be seen"
-K-os