I Dream of Detroit

I dream of words unwritten;
      In a language where periods need not be dotted
      Where “t’s” need not be crossed-
I dream of dialects unspoken;
      In a voice enunciation need not to be stressed,
      Where infliction is definitions-
Sight through subconscious is unfathomed to the minds eye
Leaving dreams to be safe from
For what can one feel in the absence of a body?
The lack there of? Or the presence of obscurity?
I dream of music unplayed;
      In a sound only heard through script,
Where distance articulates quality-
I dream of things unseen and not to have happened;
      Retention is a curse, and the forgotten is blessed-
But as I rise from once was;
      I’ve lost it all-
I dream of words unsaid;
      Cursed by memory.
      Decided through ignorance.

Excuse Me House Nigga

It is important to realize and comprehend that slavery is over. I, in no way, approve of the tactics nor execution of slavery but as in those times, there are two basic types of blacks; house niggas and field niggas. Since slavery, in the physical sense, has ceased to exist in America, it is also very vital to know the definition of a house nigga or a field nigga is not solely defined or characterized upon skin tone, but rather, more importantly, ways of thinking.

According to W.E.B. Dubois, each and every black person has a dual conscience; black and American. In the American conscience, blacks have concerns, considerations, and pride for being an American. In the black conscience, blacks have concerns, considerations, and pride for being black/ descendent from enslaved Africans. Basically, your conscience mind fights over which conscience to follow; culture vs. the establishment. For the sake of the length of this argument, the establishment will be considered your American conscience and your black conscience will be black culture.

A house nigga, in these times, is an individual of the black Diaspora who values the establishment over black culture. For example, a house nigga carries an umbrella on a sunny day to prevent themselves from getting darker because American society says the lighter you are, the more socially acceptable you will be. A house nigga is so caught up in chasing equality that they overlook their own people’s potential supremacy. A house nigga determines beauty from the standards of American society instead of finding beauty in their own culture. A house nigga is offended by the word nigga because they truly believe and live by the standards and definitions of American society. A house nigga has forgotten the 4 girls in Birmingham, a house nigga neglected the events in Jena, a house nigga doesn’t care about Derrion Alberts.

I write this not to change you of your ways. I write this to offend you. If you are offended consider yourself a house nigga. Instead of anger, find the closest field nigga and ask them what you must do to be saved.

As a field nigga, I inherently love all blacks and could care less about the establishment, but the fact that I walk the halls, sit in classes, live, and eat next to stubborn house niggas is going to kill me faster than the U.S. governments many attempts. Ladies and Gentlemen, I go to school with house niggas. If you don’t believe me, check out the bleaching crème in the bookstore.

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Expect More to Be More

Sacrifice

How much are you willing to sacrifice for your convictions? Friendship?....Money?... Love?,,,, Social acceptance?....Life?.... When entering into new spectrums and facets of life, one must ask themselves the aforementioned question. If not, one will never truly experience what the new facet and spectrum of life has to offer completely. If you truly believe in something and hold that something to be right, than in theory, nothing should differ you from practicing in what you believe in. The question that now arises is “how much are you willing to sacrifice for that belief?” In you asking yourself that question, two major actions should arise in the intellect of your mind. Your first response would be to automatically answer the question, but the deeper meaning of the question is for you to question your convictions. “No struggle. No Identity.” This statement that I live by is not exclusive to physical struggle, but inclusive to the emotional and intellectual tug-o-war that occurs in your mind about your convictions.

For example, in order to become more independent from societies silly standards, I refuse to wear matching socks purposely. Oddly but expectantly, I gained a lot of criticism for my choice to not wear matching socks. My emotions told me I did not have to endure such scrutiny over socks, but my intellect told me bear the pain and follow my own ethics. (I am not stating that your emotions are always wrong, but in this situation, they are.) In law, most cases are decided through analogous precedent; meaning that there was a case similar to the one being decided and that the decision in that case can be implemented in future cases. In reference to my socks, which may sound silly to you, if I gave up on this small conviction, this small ethic code, what else will I give up for the acceptance of society. According to law, if I quit socks for social acceptance than I quit religion for social acceptance; I quit racial passions for social acceptance; I quit being who I am for social acceptance. Hence, I am willing to sacrifice social acceptance for this conviction because I am willing to sacrifice social acceptance, at the least, for all of my said convictions and beliefs.

Though this is a small faction of my life, it is a microcosm of my personal beliefs. When upon reflection of your own beliefs, know that the strength of your convictions are based upon what you are willing to sacrifice.

MIA

I am from which I was created. Do not judge me on my exterior for it is made with flaws. Instead, judge the actions I accent with the words I write. But the words I write do not reflect the action I do. Just as any other human being, I make mistakes everyday. As I said before, what good is a man who contradicts his own efforts.

At that point, I was talking on the vitality of effective leadership. A more personal issue ha arisen. I fear I have lost my best friend because she is exactly what I am becoming; heartless. It is obvious that my emotions are gradually slipping out of my grasp. My walk is more stiff. My speech is lees motivating. My writings are less powerful.

I stated in an earlier blog that I am trying to get back to the man I used to be, but as a wise woman told me, "Make sure that man you are attempting to be is worth getting back to." But he is not worth it. Honestly, I have caused too many tears and see many more awaiting me as I travel down this path. The question is "Do I cause tears for others or carry on to my own emotional demise?"

I am from which I was created. My father's father's father was known as a man of great motivation. As they say in my father's hometown, these motivational tactics have only grown through the generations of Browns. As you know, I am BeMoBrown meaning exactly what it says. I follow a lineage of greatness and I am in constant strive for the highest. But in this 20th year of my life, I fear that I am becoming exactly what I demise the most. Heartless.

Coherence

I miss how your rhymes intertwined with my thoughts.
Feeling like a grown man with his hand in the cookie jar and finally got caught,
My heart beats fast from fear,
Knowing not the extent of your consequence;
I struggle with appreciative mistakes or humble repents.
I feel the swell of my intelligence,
A tingle from my inner sense feels the familiar texture again.
Poetry has called my name.
Ignorant to your purpose, I grow proud;
Knowing the journey to this conclusion will bring me joy.
From which I am powered is to which I question.
Seeking answers for only the dumb can speak.
And it is the right of the blind to see the dreams that dreams dream of,
For the deaf to hear the music my internal rhythm dances to.
Your are the equation, the solution, and anomaly,
My greatest Enigma

Defying Gravity/20 years

A wise man once told me that when we’re young we think we’re immortal but it is when we get old, we realize or mortality and become afraid. Well here it is, the day I celebrate 20 years of defying the laws of gravity and I am far from afraid. I am anxious. I have never feared death because my religious socialization has taught me that this physical body is only the beginning of something great. I am anxious because I am ready to answer my calling. My religion teaches me that God has given each of us a purpose, a calling, a dream to chase, and a dream to actualize. I do not know every religion, and I’m not here to sell you mine, but to a certain extent, everyone believes that they are on this earth for a certain reason.

As I sat in church today, I watched the preachers preach, I saw the shouters shout, I ignored the nay-sayers nay-say, and I dwelled upon my purpose. I am Moses. In my religion, God is a God of the disenchanted, the disenfranchised, the minority, and the unspoken for. In Exodus, these people are the Hebrews. In my home of America, these people consist of black people. Moses was not born of the Hebrew slaves for God wanted him to see the freedom the Hebrews, Moses’ people, could enjoy. I was not born onto the slaves for the same reason. Moses had faith that God’s word would lead him to free his people. I hope that God’s word will shine through these words to free my people. Moses realized his purpose, answered his calling, chased his dream, and actualized that dream. In case you didn’t know, this is the realization of my purpose, my preverbal phone rings and this is the answer to my calling, I ignore gravity so that I am in constant pursuit of my dreams. Moses freed his people through the word of God. The Apostles and Prophets that followed him lead his people to God. I will free my people, not from physical slavery in which we have abolished, but from the bars of this jail that are made by the slave inferiority complex complicated by the prison-industrial complex that disproportionally effects my people, the disenchanted, the disenfranchised, the minority, and the unspoken for and inspire those who follow me to lead my people to greatness.

This anxiousness comes to now avail because as in death, with age comes the exponential growth of passion. And as long as there is an atom of oxygen running through my pumping heart, I will not stop, I will not turn my back, I will not fear old Pharaoh, I will denounce the injustices of the enchanted, the franchised, the majority, and the self spoken for. With God on my side, WHOM shall I fear? So, I encourage you to realize your purpose, answer your calling, chase your dreams, and actualize those dreams regardless of differing religion, race, cultural background, social façade, age, socialization status, political party, or opinion. With 20 years behind me, who will join this defiance of gravity?

Ice Cream Daze

I live in a world where thuds from a passing car’s subwoofers play the bass and sirens from rushing emergency vehicles play the treble in the soundtrack of my life. A world where beauty is most often found in death and despair’s residence: a funeral, but conversely, a world where deceit and depression are conceived where fake smiles and forced tears live: a wedding. A world that is filled with individuals who live and die by their own various ethics and morals but the easiest combination of variation is negligence. And since by human nature we all want things to be easier to some degree, one could say the world doesn’t give 5¢ worth of shit about anyone else. I know you’re saying, “Damn this guy is depressing!” but secretly, you agree. As a child of maybe up to 12 years old, I could never remember thinking these thoughts. So what happened?

The same world existed when I was child if I think retrospectively, but to my youthful senses, there was one sound that cut through the noise of despair and depression, one sight that could blur out the sight of emergency and broken hearts, and one taste that would numb out the flavor of uneasy laughs matted by tears. That sound, sight, and taste was Mr. Johnson’s ice cream truck in the summertime. When the sound of those trucks bells and squeaky tires registered with the signals in my brain, my impulse was always to get up, run, and chase that truck. I’m guessing that as a child I never realized the world for what is was because I was too busy chasing after what I wanted.

When those hot summer days ended and warm school days began, I had the education of my logical brain to keep my senses distracted from the truth of the world. But somewhere through this education, my ears finally heard, eyes finally saw, and tongue finally tasted what was really going on. My mother calls this my welcoming ceremony to the real world. Again thinking retrospectively, I always thought the real world was completely comprised of people who woke up early, put on business attire, got stuck in traffic, complained about traffic, work in a boring office, had meetings, got stuck in traffic coming home, complained about traffic, complained about unhappiness, washed, rinsed, and repeated. In that aspect, I still think like the 8 year old me. I don’t want to be in that real world. I wanna chase after that ice cream truck all day. To you real world people, this probably sounds ridiculous but if we all chased after what we really wanted, maybe the world would sound, look, and taste better. With that being said, chase after your own truck in hope that you catch it and embrace it.

My Chucks Are Dirty

What good is a man who undermines his own leadership? Mistakes are unavoidable. Is it a waste of time to challenge the very things that you helped create? The answer to that question does not depend on the situation. If one creates chaos and passionatlty fights for peace, does he not contradict his own efforts? As a so called free thinker, I look at these situations and withhold judgment and see the situation for what it is.

For instance, Dave Chappelle says his comedy was a way to eliminate stereotypes through humorous situations but, that aspect of his passion drove him away from his work because he generated those stereotypes as well. He dedicated his passion to eliminate what he was creating. Is he a bad leader for this? His downfall was no one takes a comedian serious. I do not blame him for his inevitable mistakes.

The controversial "Read a Book" music video was creating and destroying negative messages at the same time. Was the artist contradicting his own message? I do not blame him for his inevitable mistakes. His downfall was no one takes black culture serious.

What good is a social revolutionary that seeks to make his/her culture the same as other cultures? They passionately fight to be up to par with general society's standards. Are they hypocritical to their own efforts? Again, I do not blame them for their inevitable mistakes.

What good is a general who causes anarchy amongst his troops? What good is a man who undermines his leadership? A man who undermines his leadership with contradicting actions is still a good leader if and only if the leader recognizes their flaws and attempts to fix them. Certain mistakes are unavoidable. I have made mistakes and a few of them were avoidable. So to continue my efforts in leadership I press on and lead others away from their avoidable mistakes. I do not condone my mistakes but if a true leader is one who is perfect, I am no leader. In that case I am Wall-E, Forrest Gump, Benjamin Button, or Shrek. I have no legacy of greatness but my kindness to humankind will lead to the drastic change of this society. Fortunately I make mistakes and in learning from these mistakes, I am in Repair.

Awaken

[insert name],
While you sleep, while your mind slowly slips into the unconscious, while your psyche forgets about the present reality and you wonder aimlessly within your dreams, someone thought of you. These thoughts are ones of sincerity and affection. Before these words made contact with this processed tree, the creator laid out a plan that made an impact on at least one. This letter makes no attempt to express the sappy emotional connection between two people that others call love for; the feelings of the writer do not reflect these emotions. But as my favorite saying goes “Who knows your feelings like your actions?” In other words, fulfilling your wishes requires neither genie nor fairy god-parent but simply acting. As you wake and as your mind painfully eases itself from the sometimes confusing subconscious, realize that you are a child of God and were meant to do great things. All that being said, continue your day with excellence and be relentless in chasing your dreams for they are the only things that keep you away from the ground.



Resisting gravity,



Bryant Brown

Beautifully Spoken

I went to church on Sunday and my overall standpoint was confusion. After studying and hearing many lectures on the black church last semester, I went with a new outlook and understanding. The black church was created during the era of slavery as a way to spread culture and social understanding throughout the enslaved Africans and the so-called new Americans. It was in these initial groups that blacks became socially and politically conscious. As time continued, the social gatherings became more than sneaking out at night to meet with others and developed into a more organized structure in which religion was practiced. As I sat in church, I could see how the origins of the black church are still practiced in the black church today. All types of black folk gathered in this church house to fellowship and share cultural and political ideas with one another. From talks to how to make cornbread fluffier to heated arguments about individual’s political fundamentals, I was amused and elated to see that in this structural compound our ancestors’ effort were not lost. Beautiful music was played as people rejoiced and praised the God they worshiped with no fear of prosecution or social judgment. The tears nearly came to my eyes when I realized that the ones that came before me were, at one point, happy because in this place, this house of worship, blacks could be themselves.

But on this Sunday, I heard a sermon that bothered me. The minister preached and made a point stating that blacks should change their language patterns in order to be more successful in the modern world. To me, this is a message of assimilation. Since I claim to be a free thinker, I sat down and thought about the minister’s point. In this world there are things that are socially acceptable and culturally acceptable. On the other side, there are things that are socially unacceptable and culturally unacceptable. All this meaning that there are certain things one can do it their culture that are not socially acceptable and there are things one can do in society and are not culturally acceptable. When pertaining to blacks, there are some things that blacks do within their culture that are not acceptable to American society's culture and there are things blacks can do in American society and is not accepted in their culture. One of those things is the use of broken English, slang, or Ebonics. According to society, by using this broken English you are lowering your standards and your social status. In essence, society's impression of you is low. This minster says blacks should change their culture from speaking broken English to speaking perfect English in order to fit in with the rest of society and be socially acceptable.

As my mother taught me a long time ago, in many situations, there is a time and a place for everything. When one wants to sound intelligent one speaks intelligently. Does this mean your English must be perfect? In my opinion, no. As a black, you have to know to play the game. The black culture does not hold the majority in American social culture. Therefore, we can not expect everyone to understand the English language we have adapted. When we go into different situations, we speak different ways. This does not mean we discard that part of ourselves entirety in order to fit in with he American society culture. This minister bothered me because he argued that in order for blacks to come off as intelligent to the majority, whites, we must change our language and assimilate it with the majority. The way blacks speak is full of passion and emotion and while it may not be textbook, it is beautiful. Take into consideration I am not talking about all blacks. I am merely speaking to the ones who defy society and choose to embrace ebony phonics.

In an intuition in which blacks, historically, can be themselves this minister tells me I should not. He tells me to conform and forget a part of who I am. He oughta be shamed of himself.

Reflection of My Preperation

I am a member of the Howard University “Showtime” Marching Band. Since the initial thought of Barack Obama winning the Democratic nomination for the presidency of the United States, I was a member of the Howard University “Showtime” Marching Band. I watched the first and third debate between Barack Obama and John McCain on the second airing due to being a member of the Howard University “Showtime” Marching Band. When Barack Obama told the world “Yes We Can,” and promised hope for re-building America, I played my saxophone a little better and a little louder so that I may give hope to my fellow band members to build a better band. When Obama supported the $700 billion bailout with a look of discontent, I lifted my legs a little higher and practiced a little bit harder so that I would never need a bailout. When he won and others celebrated, I served the band that I love so much because I realized that there was still much work to be done. Even during the inauguration, I gave my full attention to the Howard University “Showtime” Marching Band. But something changed during the inaugural parade. As I marched past him in seemingly perfect marching condition, I saw through that glass a reflection of my preparation. And it was at that moment that I realized that Barack Obama, full of hope, inspiration, and seemingly perfect preparation, was and is my black president. If he had prepared like I prepared for those brief moments during the parade then I have no hesitation that Obama will lead this country to greatness.

I claim To be A Man

I regret nothing. My mother's teachings taught me to learn from all things that happen in life. The lessons learned in every fathom of life are priceless and beyond measure. If the lesson learned is a result of a negative situation, I create better from it. On the other hand, if the lesson is learned from a positive situation, I dare not celebrate in excess. Therefore, I have no regrets. Somewhere between chasing my dreams and writing my history, I bumped into my reflection. While the physical had changed for the better, the mentality that rests behind my eyes has changed as well. While I would like to tell you that I have figured myself out and have come one step closer to enlightenment and fulfilling my self prophecy, I would only be lying to you and to myself. The temporary satisfaction of this lie would easily ease the pain of discontent that I feel. I do not want that. I have lied to myself long enough. I do regret it and sadly, I have become everything in man that I despise. I lie. I deceive. I mislead. I manipulate. To say I am not myself is a childish, idiotic, and pointless statement. Instead, I must get back to the man I used to be. While I can't see you directly through this screen, the next time you see my eyes, you will see my regret in hurting you. Even as I look at my own reflection, I will not see the same eyes that I have seen for the last months. With that said, I must go away for a while and seek out the inspiration that helped me become who I was.

"I woke up in the morning
I took a trip to the corner store
That's when I heard my calling
But I'd never heard the voice of truth before
So I kept on walking
Pretending I didn't see
Walked by a window and my reflection said to me
You could try all the same
But you'll never know this mystery
There's no pilot on your plane
So you're not the man you used to be
Try all the game, but you'll never know this mystery
When your pilot has no plane
Said you're the man you used to be seen"
-K-os